TURNING POINT
Although I had done all of this work and thought it looked good, I was losing interest. I was starting to question whether I really wanted to do this, realizing that although graphic novels are a big part of my visual identity and source of inspiration, they are not a hobby of mine, I don’t read them in my free time, it is not something I enjoy. So why was I making one? And at the same time that I was thinking all this I was also working on another project (tutor project) and creating work that I was very excited about, where I was really expressing myself and felt completely free of boundaries or obligations, I was just creating work for myself and that work looked like me, I owned it. This made me realise that what I was creating for this project, was not my work, I was trying too hard and it wasn’t flowing naturally. I needed to change directions. So I let go of everything and just illustrated what I wanted, my feelings about my mum (see the two illustrations on the left). And I felt free, like myself again. This is where I belonged and that’s what I wanted to do.
DISCOVERING WILLIAM STOUT
I have to mention William Stout as I believe he was part of what made me realize that what I was doing was not enough. Whilst I was working on my graphic novel and going back and forth to my research I discovered William Stout and fell completely in love and realized that actually, a couple years ago I had bought a book about Jazz and blues music because the illustrations were absolutely extraordinary (see portrait below). Right then Stout became one of my favorite illustrators and motivated me to do more and better, bigger, bolder, brighter!
SALOMÉ GAUTIER 