deranged

dɪˈreɪn(d)ʒd/

adjective: deranged

1. mad; insane.  “a deranged gunman”

What makes a fan? How is a fan different from the rest of the audience? Once we can define what a fan is, how do we define a deranged fan? What is the ‘step too far’ that is taken that will transform you from a normal fan to a deranged fan? Where is the line not to cross…and is it a fine line?

These are all the questions this session has been about and has pushed us to ask ourselves as the fans we are. The title of my blog post today is the title of an online article posted on theodysseyonline.com in June 2016 following the death of famous youtube star and ”The Voice’s ” Christina Grimmie. On the 10th of June Christina was shot dead on stage at her own concert by a ”fan”. His name is Kevin James Loibl from Florida who apparently travelled all the way to Orlando with the one and only purpose of killing singer Christine Grimmie.

What I find interesting about this article is how in the same paragraph, Kevin is described as a ‘deranged fan’ and just a few words later, as a ‘killer’. It feels to me as the term ‘deranged fan’ doesn’t really have a definite definition if is put under the same as ‘killer’ or ‘murderer’. Surely not all fans that are extreme in their love for their fandoms are killers or murderers, such as those who turn into stalkers and don’t go any further.

So what is that difference, that fine line between a normal fan and a deranged fan? Psychologist John D. Moore in an article for the Washington Post, explains that ”we live in a culture of celebrity worship,” and for super fans that have mental health issues, their worship can turn into a very unhealthy central focus, sometimes a violent one. Moore explains that the situation becomes dangerous and the fan crosses that line when he feels either disrespected, jilted, discounted,etc..

I though we could take a look at the definitions of the term fan and where it comes from;

A fan, or fanatic, sometimes also called aficionado or supporter, is a person who is enthusiastically devoted to something or somebody, such as a band, a sports team, a genre, a book, a movie or an entertainer. Collectively, the fans of a particular object or person constitute its fanbase or fandom. They may show their enthusiasm in a variety of ways, such as by promoting the object of their interest, being members of a fan club, holding or participating in fan conventions, or writing fan mail. They may also engage in creative activities (“fan labor“) such as creating fanzines, writing fan fiction, making memes or drawing fan art.

WHO ARE YOU/WHAT MADE YOU

In class we all took turns in talking about our own personal fandoms and I mentioned that my fandoms were Scooby Doo, Tom & Jerry, Dexter’s Laboratory… Anything from Cartoon Network from the late 90s to the early 2000s. They are, but they really aren’t my main and most present fandoms. It’s just the first thing that popped into my mind at that moment when I was asked. When actually, I just can’t stop watching Harry Potter. Over and over again. I have watched Harry Potter and The Philosopher Stone way over 25 times, as well as all the others. Therefore my fandoms lay more in movie sagas and series. One of the main things that I love the most about these and that really gets me hooked is the music, the soundtracks. Here is a list of most of the movies and series I follow fervently;

MOVIES

• Star Wars (I own figurines from cereal boxes, a poster, a notebook and trainers)

• Lord of The Rings (Who’s soundtrack I listen to in repeat whilst working)

• Jurassic Park

• James Bond

• Batman

• The Godfather (music ?!?!)

• Indiana Jones

SERIES

• Game of Thrones

• The Walking Dead

• Narcos

• Stranger Things

• Prison Break

• American Horror Story

• Heroes

• Lost

I grew up with an older brother, only 2 years difference and we were always very close from the very beginning. We spent all of our time together and did everything together. Everything was shared, so what we watched; was as well. I don’t know deeply that affected what I ended up loving and being a fan off, but I definitely recognise that there is an emotional attachment to those things and that I find myself recalling shared moments with my brother. But then I have turned out to be a much bigger fan of all the movies and series listed above than he has.

I do believe these things comfort me, in times where I am feeling lonely, annoyed, sad…but they also comfort me in who I am, meaning they make me comfortable with who I am, they remind me of parts of myself.. It is a strange thing to explain. As a kid I was never much of a girly girl, instead I either was the very quiet child drawing peacefully on her own or the cheeky one, that like to play rough and do silly things, always ready to fight the boys, climb on things, run, jump, fall, scratch my knees, hurt myself and laugh. So I soon identified myself as being one of the boys simply because I had more fun with them and I was comfortable. That never changed as I grew up but rather became stronger. Which wasn’t always something easy to understand as you are growing up and y0u think there are things you are supposed to be or do… But seeing the type of things I was really into helped me understand what kind of person I was, what I was made of and reassured me in my differences to others. I had my own thing going on and I didn’t care if I was alone in it because it was different to everybody else’s. They were all following and liking the same things, I wasn’t. And I loved it.